Things you do that are cute and/or entertaining:
1. Insist we call you Littlefoot.
2. Deliberately misinterpret things we say, such as this morning when you were trying to talk your way out of eating with a fork, and your father said, “Look, I see your argument. But still, no,” and you replied, “Oh, you see it? Where is it? Is it back there?”
(Hard to discipline someone for impertinence when they’re making you crack up.)
3. Make up entire conversations between your toys.
4. Cry, “Mommy!!” with a thousand-watt grin when I arrive to pick you up.
5. Do things like climb into our bed because of a thunderstorm, wait until we’re positive you’re asleep, and then whisper, “Daddy? Smell my feet.”
Things you do that are not so cute and certainly not entertaining:
1. Whine. Stooooooooppppp with the whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiining.
2. Sabotage potty training at every turn, including sitting patiently on the potty for 20 minutes until I’m certain I’ve missed the cue, and then peeing on the floor 30 seconds later.
3. Act like an insane person when you’re tired or hungry. The maniacal laughter is unnerving.
4. Flat out ignore me.
5. Did I mention the potty training? Seriously, just poop on the goddamn toilet already.
Meh. We’ll call it even.
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6 comments:
Perfect! Exactly why I haven't kicked my kids out on the street. We're tied.
Awesome. :)
OMG....i needed this this morning...seriously! thank you....and that is my potty sentiment exactly....geez
Potty training. They said boys are tough, but, man, what makes them think it's better to forever go in their pants? Mine is the same way.
The maniacal laughter is the WORST. I feel like I must be raising a super villain.
Smell my feet.
It's funny how something can be both insanely rewarding and infuriating at the same time. Ahh, parenthood, how I love thee.
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