Those bears are my kind of people

I sometimes witness other people’s kids getting asked to do stuff, and then they just do it. This usually makes me a little jealous and frustrated, because that is not how you operate.

Except…sometimes you do. It seems like it goes in cycles, this pushing back and arguing and resisting thing that you do, and this last cycle has been so long that when your father asked you to get dressed this morning and you just did it, afterwards he whispered to me:

“…That is not our kid.”

We had a hard time remembering the last occasion when you just did something, instead of arguing every tiny request, asking unrelated questions to avoid the topic, or ignoring us completely.

Then when I dropped you off at daycare, you thanked me, completely unprompted, for allowing you to put your boots on the boot rack. Your boots aren’t supposed to go on the boot rack, they’re supposed to go in your locker, but you like them to go on the boot rack. And because it is a rack for boots, I often let you. But that is certainly the first time you’ve ever thanked me for it.

I wonder, actually, if it has to do with your media consumption. It does seem as if your behaviour is somewhat influenced by whatever children’s show you’re choosing to watch at the time. I outright banned “Max & Ruby”, for instance. Max is an obnoxious two-year-old bunny who demands things in one-word sentences, and Ruby is an ineffective surrogate parent whose patronizing tone grates on my nerves. When you went through a period where that was all you wanted to watch, you began demanding things in one-word sentences.

(When I placed an embargo on Max & Ruby, I made the mistake of saying I didn’t like them. You demanded to know, “What have they ever done to you?”)

Lately, however, you’re reading and watching a lot of Berenstain Bears. I find them a little syrupy, but I can’t fault their morals or manners. I feel a bit dishonest skipping over the references to the Bible, but, whatever. I take no issue with Christian ethics when they’re in bear form, apparently.

It’s almost enough to make an atheist take their kid to church. Well, maybe bear church.

Now I just need to make that the entirety of your viewing and reading schedule for the next…oh, 12 years.